What Does A Smile Cost?

It takes approximately 13 muscles to smile, but around 43 to 47 muscles to frown. That simple biological fact tells us something profound: our faces are literally designed for joy over sorrow, for connection over isolation. Yet for all the muscular efficiency of a smile, its true power lies not in the mechanics but in the magic—the micro-connection it creates between two human beings with nothing more than a gentle upturn of the lips and a simple “hello.”

In 1970s San Francisco, a man in his thirties discovered just how much that micro-connection was worth. And tragically, he learned its absence cost him everything.

The Note That Changed Everything

Dr. Jerome Motto, a respected psychiatrist who ran a suicide ward for over three decades, made a visit to the apartment of a recent Golden Gate Bridge jumper. “The guy was in his 30s,” Motto related, “lived alone. Pretty bare apartment. He’d written a note and left it on his bureau. It said, ‘I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I won’t jump.’ Apparently no one did.”

This wasn’t just another suicide statistic. This was a life that hinged on something so simple, so basic, so fundamentally human that we take it for granted every single day. One smile. One moment of recognition. One brief acknowledgment that said, “I see you. You matter. You’re not invisible.”

The cost of that smile? Absolutely nothing.

The value of its absence? Immeasurable.

The Golden Gate’s Grim Mathematics

Between 1937 and 2024, an estimated 2,000 people jumped to their deaths from the Golden Gate Bridge. Each number represents a life, a family, a network of relationships forever altered. But behind these statistics lies a more hopeful truth: a 26-year follow-up study of 515 individuals who were restrained from jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge found that 94 percent were still alive or had died from natural causes 26 years later.

The implications are staggering. Most suicidal thoughts are temporary. Most crises pass. Most people, when given even the smallest lifeline, choose life.

Kevin Hines knows this intimately. At 19, overwhelmed by bipolar disorder and auditory hallucinations, he walked onto the Golden Gate Bridge in September 2000. He tarried at the bridge railing for about 40 minutes, trying to decide whether to go through with his plan to jump. A number of people walked by him, oblivious to his anguish, unaware of his life-and-death struggle.

“If someone had smiled and said, ‘Are you okay?’ I know I would have begged them to help me,” Hines later reflected. “I would have told them everything and asked for help. I would not have jumped. I just was unable to ask for help myself.”

A tourist did approach him—but only to ask him to take her picture. After she walked away, Hines felt more isolated than ever. He jumped. Miraculously, he survived.

The Ripple Effect of Recognition

When we smile at someone, when we offer a genuine “hello” or “how are you?” we’re doing far more than following social conventions. We’re performing a profound act of recognition—confirming that the person before us exists, matters, and deserves acknowledgment. This echoes the biblical truth that every person is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), making each human encounter sacred. As Dr. Robert Simon writes in the American Journal of Psychiatry: “Is the smile and hello saying, ‘You are a person just like me; I recognize and respect you’? Are we making a human connection that closes our separateness, even for a moment?”

This micro-connection might seem trivial in our hyper-connected digital age. We have thousands of followers, hundreds of contacts, constant streams of notifications. Yet paradoxically, loneliness and social isolation are at epidemic levels, particularly among men.

The male friendship crisis is real and documented. Men report having fewer close friends than previous generations, struggling more with emotional intimality, and facing cultural barriers that discourage vulnerability and help-seeking. Yet Scripture reminds us that “two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). In this landscape, a simple smile becomes revolutionary—a small act of rebellion against the isolation that kills. Just as cross-training provides multiple pathways to mental wellness, human connection offers various entry points for healing and hope.

The Neuroscience of Simple Kindness

Studies have shown that the act of smiling—even when you don’t feel like it—can trigger the release of mood-boosting chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. It helps lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and even improve immune function. But the benefits extend far beyond the person doing the smiling.

Smiling is also contagious. When you smile at someone, their brain often registers your expression and instinctively responds in kind. This biological mirroring creates what researchers call emotional contagion—we literally pass good feelings from person to person through facial expressions.

For someone standing on the edge—literally or metaphorically—this neurochemical cascade could be the difference between hope and despair. It’s a reminder that they’re not alone in their struggle, that someone sees them not as a problem or a burden, but as a fellow human deserving of kindness.

The Economics of Empathy

What does a smile cost? In purely economic terms, nothing. It requires no purchase, no subscription, no membership fee. It doesn’t diminish your reserves when you give it away—in fact, quite the opposite. The more smiles you offer, the more likely you are to receive them in return.

Yet the return on investment is extraordinary. That momentary investment of 13 muscles and a few seconds of attention can:

Save a life: As the Golden Gate Bridge note demonstrated, sometimes the smallest gesture prevents the ultimate tragedy
Improve mental health: Both yours and the recipient’s, through the release of mood-boosting neurotransmitters
Build community: Creating networks of positive interaction that strengthen social bonds
Model behavior: Encouraging others to engage in similar acts of kindness, creating a ripple effect
Combat isolation: Particularly crucial for men, who may be less likely to seek help or maintain close friendships

The Masculine Challenge

Men face unique barriers when it comes to both giving and receiving emotional support. Cultural messages about self-reliance, emotional stoicism, and the need to appear strong can make men less likely to notice when others are struggling—and less likely to reach out when they themselves need help.

The man who left that note in 1970s San Francisco was walking through a city full of people, yet he felt completely alone. How many of us have passed someone on the street, focused on our phones or lost in thought, oblivious to their inner struggle? How many opportunities for connection do we miss each day?

This isn’t about becoming overly emotional or abandoning traditionally masculine traits. It’s about recognizing that strength can be expressed through kindness, that leadership sometimes means simply acknowledging another person’s existence, and that the most masculine thing you can do might be to care about the welfare of others. Jesus himself demonstrated this perfectly—showing tremendous strength through compassion, weeping with those who wept (John 11:35), and teaching that “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Mark 10:43). True strength lies not in emotional isolation, but in having the courage to connect with and care for others.

Practical Applications

The beauty of this intervention lies in its simplicity. You don’t need training, certification, or special skills. You need awareness and intentionality. Here’s how to integrate this life-saving practice into your daily routine:

Make Eye Contact: Instead of looking at your phone or past people, actually see them. This simple act of recognition can be powerful for someone feeling invisible.

Offer Genuine Greetings: “Good morning,” “How’s your day going?” or simply “Hello” can create that crucial micro-connection.

Pay Attention to Body Language: Someone standing alone, looking distressed, or seeming out of place might need that extra moment of human kindness.

Follow Your Instincts: If something seems off, trust that feeling. A simple “Are you okay?” has saved countless lives. The Holy Spirit often works through our intuition and compassion, as we’re called to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).

Be Consistent: Make this a habit, not a one-time gesture. Regular practice makes you more attuned to others’ needs.

When Smiles Aren’t Enough

While a smile and hello can be powerful interventions, they’re not cure-alls. If someone expresses suicidal thoughts or appears to be in crisis, more intensive help is needed. Key resources include:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Local emergency services: 911
Mental health professionals: Therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists trained in crisis intervention

The goal isn’t to become an amateur therapist but to be a caring human who recognizes when professional help is needed.

The Compound Interest of Kindness

That man’s note from the 1970s has now been shared millions of times, appearing in psychiatric journals, suicide prevention materials, and conversations about mental health. His tragic death created awareness that has likely prevented other tragedies—a bittersweet form of meaning from meaningless loss. In his suffering, we see reflected the words of Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” While we cannot understand why such pain exists, we can choose to let it motivate us toward greater compassion.

But imagine if his story had been different. Imagine if one person on his walk to the bridge had simply smiled, made eye contact, and said hello. Imagine if that micro-connection had been enough to make him turn around, seek help, and live.

We can’t rewrite that story, but we can write new ones every day. Every smile offered, every genuine greeting shared, every moment of human recognition creates the possibility for a different ending.

The Daily Investment

When Kevin Hines was asked if someone had smiled at him when he was on the bridge, would it have prevented his suicide attempt, he answered: “Yes, a smile would have most definitely helped in my case. If the smile is genuine and caring, and it looks like the person is approachable, that person could have such an impact on a suicidal person at the moment of desperation. They could well save a life.”

The question isn’t whether you can afford to smile at strangers or offer simple greetings. The question is whether you can afford not to. In a world where male suicide rates continue climbing, where loneliness reaches epidemic proportions, where human connection feels increasingly rare, your smile might be the lifeline someone desperately needs.

The Return on Humanity

What does a smile cost? The answer remains the same: nothing. Thirteen muscles, a moment of attention, a choice to see and acknowledge another human being. The cost is negligible.

But the value? Immeasurable. Priceless. Potentially life-saving.

In our complex world of mental health interventions, therapy modalities, and pharmaceutical treatments, it’s easy to overlook the power of simple human connection. Yet sometimes the most sophisticated intervention is also the most basic: one person recognizing the humanity in another.

The next time you’re walking down the street, standing in line, or passing someone in a hallway, remember the man from 1970s San Francisco. Remember that your smile might be the one that changes everything. Remember that in a world full of complexity, sometimes the simplest gestures carry the greatest power. As Christ taught us, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31)—sometimes that love begins with nothing more than a smile and the recognition of shared humanity.

Because ultimately, what does a smile cost?

Nothing.

What is a warm smile worth?

Priceless.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help immediately. Call 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line, or contact local emergency services. You are not alone, and help is available.

Resources

Dale

See Full Bio